Just another heartbreak
by the-real-m3
Summary: I mean, I’m just another ugly old witch that dies in the moviie. All I’ll be is another drop in an ocean of tears. After all, this just another heartbreak
1. Chapter 1

**Okay. Um, I'm still in the hospital and like the other one, this was typed up in a small ipod. I want to update You Saw Me, but there is no way in hell that I will type up that long ass chapter on an ipod. **

**Anyways, this is yet another oneshot. Actually, my sister came today with a charged ipod and some things she thought would keep me company, and among those things was an old notebook I had. When I looked inside the notebook, there was a story in it that I wrote when I was about eight years old, and I completely forgot about it. So, I decided that it might not be bad to sort of rewrite the story with better grammer and post it up. Some parts are word for word, but for the most part, since it was originally written for a straight couple, I had to add a lot more. It was really interesting writing this since I got to see how my writing had changed in the past six years, but then I saw that it didn't really change a lot. **

**Moving on, um, please read and comment because the eight year old in me is dying to know how you like this story.**

_Just another heartbreak_

_What is this? It's just another heartbreak. There's tons of them out there, but now you're reading mine. Why? Why are you reading my about my heartbreak? I think it's stupid to even read about heartbreaks. I would have preferred to live in the world made of rainbows and fairytales. But maybe, just maybe reading my story will help inspire you. Inspire you to never hold your heart in high hopes. _

_As sad as that sounds, it's exactly what I aim to do. And if you do not like heartbreak, or stories that end in tears then don't listen to mine, because it would do nothing but bring down your spirit. _

_I had known her since I was eight years old, and we hated each other. I was more of a tomboy and I did my best to wreak havoc on those that I disliked. And so, I wreaked havoc on her. To picture me, I was your average eight year old tomboy with large shorts just running past the knee, a loose shirt, hair tied back loosely with a backwards baseball cap. Her, she was the picture of girly perfection then. When we were eight, she was your average girl who wore cute and frilly dresses to school and smiled nicely for all the adults to see. We were complete opposites, and we hated each other._

_I didn't know at the time the real reason for the annoyed hatred that I felt for her. There was just something about her that made me want to dip her ponytail her ink, or want to throw mud at her new shoes. She angered me and got to me, and I didn't have the slightest clue why. I didn't understand why this girl, who hadn't really done anything to me, got under my skin so much just for playing around with other people. But at the time, I didn't care, the point is that she did, and I would maker her pay for it. _

_Though the thing was, I started to see that there was something else other then annoyance. Well, that's not entirely true. Most of it was annoyance, but it was the reason for the annoyance. I was annoyed when she smiled at anyone, boys and girls, hell I was annoyed when she smiled at the teacher. So in my annoyance, I decided that I'd make sure that she didn't smile at anyone by making her life miserable. It didn't really work but another thing came dawning on me. It wasn't long after that I realized that I was gay. How? Well, my mom told me something about boys liking to tease girls that they liked, and that's when I realized that the things I did to her were not to make her cry and hate me, but were to catch her attention in any way possible, even if it meant hating me._

_After I realized that I liked her, I stopped bullying her and even did my best to apologize. She made it very hard though. At first she wouldn't accept my apology, stating that she hated me and that I was the meanest person in the world. I was mad that she was being so stuck up about the whole situation, but considering how I had teased her about everything, it didn't take me long to understand that I had to have patience. So I kept apologizing and bothering her to be friends with me. _

_I guess she couldn't stay away from my charms because she eventually gave in to being my friend. We didn't start of as distant friends. We had already known each other for the longest time, and it seemed pointless to be distant, so we were close from the get-go. I, being the tomboy at the time, would do my best to get into trouble with her by doing dumb and dangerous stunts. Now, she would say that they were stupid and would argue for hours about how we shouldn't do it, but in the end she never backed out of one. _

_Time went on quickly, and we learned more about each other, even going as far as taking on parts of the other's personality. She had changed, and so had I from when we first met. Yeah, I was still sort of the kid in the long short and backwards cap who you could imagine had a runny nose that I would wipe on the back of my hand, but I did have more manners since I was with her. _

_And her? Well, I had a huge impact on her it seems. She was no longer the prim and proper little girl in third grade, but instead someone like me but with even better manners and a delicate stature. Instead of wearing frilly dresses, she upgraded to torn jeans. She made a little confession to me one day about how her mom was the one who liked to make her wear the old dresses. To my surprise, she had a lot of strength in her and there were times when we would just battle it out and wrestle, and she won most of those times. It didn't really do much for my self esteem knowing that I lost to a girl who had worn frilly dresses only years ago._

_Years went by, and we only got closer and closer. We went through our awkward adolescent phase together, often sharing our secrets with the other. We went through the things that most girls went through in our age, we experimented with makeup, sometimes for fun and sometimes not, we tried on new clothes, trying to find a unique style that identified us, and overall attempted to make the most of what we had left in our childhood. _

_I won't lie to you, there were many moments that made my heart skip a beat and almost want to jump out of my chest. Those were the moments when we held hands for just a bit longer then necessary, or when naked skin would casually brush against naked skin. It was when huge grins would break out on our face just from seeing each other. The times when we both found ourselves enamored in a world consisting of only us. _

_In short, we became best friends, closer then any other around us._

_When we were in high school, we were the famous duo. We both played sports, her football and me hockey. Now, if you saw us, you wouldn't think that we would be capable of handling such extreme sports, but you'd be surprised, we were awesome at it. Like I was saying, we were popular through high school. We lived in Mississauga, Ontario up here in Canada, so things were more peaceful then what I might imagine schools might be in other parts of different countries. Bullying didn't really exist, but if it did it was really small and discreet. Popularity mainly consisted of people who stood out, no matter their looks or their background. _

_Because of that, we were in the zone in high school. We were the type of best friends that would casually flirt jokingly in public but still keep an air of maturity. I think that was what made us so popular. We complimented each other very well. We were a lot alike in some aspects, yet completely opposite in others. People around were very casual, and we were well liked among the general population. Of course there was the occasional faction who disliked us solely because we were popular, but we didn't pay much attention to them mainly because we didn't really care about the popularity. To us, high school was all about having fun while you still could, but still retaining the boredom of classes, and pressure of grades. _

_For the most part though, it was the perfect high school experience, going to clubs, playing on teams, Friday nights off, everything. Though, there was a thing or two that were off. I still wasn't out yet, partially because I was scared that I'd lose my family. I didn't know how they would react, and I was too scared to find out. I hadn't even told her but that's because I was too scared to take the risk that she might hate me for it, or that she might like me back. _

_I was sure she did, though. I was pretty confident that it wasn't only me. I could feel it, the air between us. I could feel the slight tension during some awkward moments, and the longing we had for each other. I was completely sure that those sideway glances we sent to each other during class weren't just your innocent funny faces, but something more. We didn't talk about that stuff a lot though. I'm sure it was something that we both wanted to confront but were just too scared. _

_I didn't understand why, really. _

_I mean, why would you be scared to love, right?_

_No matter. So, during the end of high school, in our senior year, I guess you could say that she changed a bit. Her family was a bit estranged because of some conflicts but they always tried to stick together. She was feelings all sorts of pressure from different areas in her life and I tried my best to be there for her. For a small while, she didn't do anything and just locked herself at home and pushed me away. No matter what I did she wouldn't talk to me or even acknowledge my existence in any way. Needless to say, I was pissed. _

_I hated that she had just so casually written me off her life. We had known each other for the better part of our lives and I was angry that she would do that to me. In my anger, the only thing I could do was reciprocate her feelings. I stopped calling her and "bothering" her, as she put it. If we saw each other in school, we would pass each other without a single glance or word. Everyone around us was freaked out by the strange occurrence. I mean, it's true when they say that some people need a sort of break from their friends, but we didn't seem to need that, and that's what made it seem so special. _

_People tried to get us talking to each other, but it was hopeless, I was stubborn and so was she. I wouldn't apologize for anything, after all, I had done nothing wrong but want to be there for her, and instead she pushed me away. Nonetheless, people were getting tired of our avoidance antics, especially when it was so clear that we wanted to be near each other. I found that ironic. But really, why is it so hard? _

_I never really did get an answer to that question, but I think I know a little bit more about the topic now. _

_Then, strangely enough, all of a sudden, she came pounding on my door. When I answered it, she was close to collapsing in exhaustion, sweat dripping down her face and completely out of breath. She told me that she ran all the way to my house from hers, which was about a ten minute drive. _

_Then, all I could hear was a mess of words, some of which were I'm sorry's and forgive me's. After babbling incoherently for about five continuous minutes, I finally got her to calm down and speak a language that I could understand. She said that she was sorry for the way that she had been acting and that she was going to fix everything immediately. I didn't know then what she meant by then, but it wouldn't be long before I found out. _

_She didn't bother to explain herself before she ran out of my house, only stopping to scream back, telling me to go inside in the main hall when school ended the day after. I just stared at the where she once was, jaws dropped before chuckling to myself slightly. I didn't know what had just happened, but I didn't care because at least now she was taking to me. It was like all the anger that had built up in me completely disappeared once I heard her voice say my name. _

_So, I did what she said and the next day I went to the main hall after school. I didn't know what I was supposed to be waiting for or looking at, but it seemed that I wasn't the only one. There was a large crowd of people who were also looking around for something that it seems they couldn't see. When I took a closer look, all of the people in the crowd, or most of them, were close friends of her and I. _

_There we were, looking around for something we couldn't really see and didn't really know what, until someone in the crowd gasped and yelled to look up. We all looked up, and man jaws were dropped. I think that the majority of us either had eyes popping out of their sockets, jaws that seemed as though they'd reach the floor, or hearts that were pumping at a speed not considered healthy. Or maybe it was just me, I didn't really look around because I was my own eyes were glued to the sight in front of me. _

_Let me tell you something, our school then was three stories high from ground floor, and then you had the roof. In the main hall, we had this sky light, and the roof was made out of glass similar to the one in the CN tower, in other words, thick, strong glass. And there she was, standing on that thick, strong glass; more then thirty feet up in the air. I could tell she was scared because she's never really been the biggest fan of heights. Okay, she's a huge acrophobic, and that was part of the reason that I was so amazed. The girl wouldn't even get on a ladder and yet there she was thirty feet above me. _

_She was on her knees and palms, looking incredibly dizzy. At this point, an even larger crowd had gathered around us, some of which teachers who were now contacting the office for someone to get her the hell outta there. Anyways, she was on her knees and palms, and she had an obscenely large sign strapped to her back. The thing was huge, probably even bigger then herself, and she hoisted it up and laid it flat on the glass for all to see. Well, if people's jaws weren't on the floor yet, they sure were at this point._

_I'M GAY._

_Those were the words spelled across the large sign in huge block letters. Some of the crowd was laughing, others were gasping and whispering about, and there were those that cheered for her. But it didn't matter, cause I blocked all of them out, all the noise, all the troubles, all the things that should've mattered, but didn't. Because at that second, my entire being was focused on her, all my senses were aching for her, aching for her touch, her scent, her essence, her._

_Even from thirty feet away, I could directly see into her gorgeous eyes that were looking back on my own. It was as if we were in our own world again, and everything, no matter how confusing they actually were, just seemed to make sense. My mouth was parted slightly, and she was just looking back at me, smiling like I was the most interesting thing in the world. _

_I felt my eyes water, and even though it might've only been a second, the time that our eyes were locked felt forever. But it was then that I realized that forever was too short. I realized, that no matter the measurement of time, I wanted to always be looking back into those gorgeous eyes that seemed to captivate me and drown me in something far more enticing then the greatest fashions of ecstasy. It was then that I realized that what I felt for her was not a small childhood crush. _

_I was in love with her. _

_And I still am. _

_Then everything seemed to just fall into places. Everything started making sense. It was like solving the answer to life's greatest mystery. The answer was her. Because with her, there were no mysteries, nothing to solve, there was no life and death, no time that could ever hope to satisfy me. There was just the phenomenon of being with her, and being without her. It seemed as though I had two worlds; the world with me and her, and the world with everything else. _

_And that single second that seemed like forever, ended and we were brought back, but now I had another realization. It was a realization that I would use to change the rest of my life. The noise and worldly sensations came back, and soon the janitors had surrounded her and forced her to get down. It was a memorable day for all of us. She came out to everyone that day, and I had the biggest dawning of my entire life._

_The teachers brought her down and I was standing face to face with her, but I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I couldn't do anything. I still had the same face on from when she was up there, with my mouth slightly parted, eyes blinking every so often to make sure that it wasn't a dream, and a slightly shaky figure. She had her head down, her foot drawing circles on the floor, twiddling thumbs, with her gaze set firmly on the floor. Every so often she would look up to see my reaction, and she had this gauging look to her, while being shy at the same time. It was quite an endearing sight. Unfortunately, I was still frozen. _

_People were coming up to her, asking if it was true and some even asked her to go out with them. But she didn't pay attention to them; we were in our own world again. She was still gauging my reaction, seeing if I would turn her away and say disgusting or congratulations, seeing if I would attack her or hold her. _

_I chose the latter. _

_When it finally seemed as though I could move my limbs and breathe again, I ran up to her and engulfed her entire form in my arms, burying my face into her neck and smiling against her skin. She wrapped her own arms around me, mirroring my own actions of burying her face in my neck. _

_I felt…I don't know I felt. There were so many emotions and a reason for each one. I felt sad that our old life was now ending. I felt mad that she came out before me. I felt shocked that she came out at all. I felt happy that she could be who she actually was. I felt so much more, and it seemed as though they were rolled into a ball inside of me. _

_She asked me if I could be there for her when she came out to her family, and I was. I held her hand when she came out to her family, and when they shunned her for the most part. She cried and cried but I never left her side. I let her soak the fabric on my shoulders until it seemed as though she didn't have any more tears left. _

_It took a while, but she finally got over it. Her family became cold and put a large distance between them. Her mom just couldn't deal with it and it hurt her. She tried bridging the gap, but nothing worked. It wasn't long before she gave up trying to gain their acceptance rather then their tolerance. _

_Soon we had graduated from high school and started our lives. We both wanted to do something involving show business and so we went to Vancouver for school. It was the best place to really start the career in the business. We went to school there, and we lived together as roommates. _

_I still hadn't told her that I was gay. I know that she knew, but I wanted to tell her with my own voice and my own mouth. I wanted her to see that I wasn't scared of telling her, just scared of confronting the fact that I was in love with her. _

_One day, I decided that I wouldn't keep it in anymore and that I would tell her and my family. But I was trying to think of a way to do so that seemed larger then life, but simple all the while. I wracked my brain for over two whole months before I finally gave up and decided on something that was less then satisfactory. _

_On one of our days off, I drove her down to the coast where the ocean was. And there was this section there in the bay where you could only go when the tide was out because it would flood when the tide came in. And I took her there on that tiny closed off area where there was this small rocky hill, and from that hill, no matter how far you looked, there was nothing but water, water for hundreds of miles in each direction. I remember that it was completely clear when we went there early morning, but by the time we settled in the hill, it had started raining. _

_We were laughing our asses off while freezing in the rain. It was pouring down hard, and we were still up on that small hill. We went to the very peak, and we were giggling about how stupid it was but we both knew we wouldn't be anywhere else in the world. So, I finally did what I came there to do. I told her to stand beside me, and we were facing the ocean that was making such a large noise due to the large drops of water dropping quickly each second. It really was a beautiful sight, a beautiful feeling. _

_I looked back to her one last time before I filled my lungs with as much air as possible and let out the words I'd been meaning to the last few years. _

"_I'm gay!" _

_As the words left me, I thought at the time about the huge weight that was lifting off my shoulders with it. The water that was pounding down hard on me felt completely weightless to the burden that was slowly lifting. It was such a new sensation that I felt filling me. I felt free. Like, I could finally be the person I was meant to be, like I could finally be me. _

_The words had resonated in the large empty space, and I wondered if there was even anyone that heard it. I remember my heart pounding in my chest and how nervous I was to turn around to see her reaction. I remember shaking but not because of the cold rain. I remember my ragged breath and whispering prayers. I remember the fear and nervousness running through me. I remember her hand on my shoulder, gently making me look to her._

_And, it was like an even larger weight was off me when I saw the smile on her face. I felt like I could've collapsed there in relief. She had laughed a bit at my relief, and it wasn't long before we were both laughing. But after the laughing broke out, I knew that there was something else that I wanted to tell her. There was something else that she needed to know. _

_She stopped laughing when she saw the seriousness in my face and she replaced her own face with a concerned one. I had given her a small smile, and I took her hand in mine, and placed my other hand on her cold cheek. And, I looked straight into the gorgeous eyes that made me fall in love with her and I told her the truth, my truth, my life's greatest mystery. _

"_I love you." It was really soft and quiet. I had leaned in and just breathed it into her mouth before I pulled away, and I watched and stared at her. I watched as her brain took in the heavy content of my words. I watched her face contort in realization. I watched as her lips parted and her breath die in her own throat. I watched her eyes which showed an emotion that I couldn't discern. I watched her as the millions of thoughts ran through her mind, scrambling for her to make a move. _

_I didn't know what she was thinking and it scared me. But I knew that if I wanted an answer I would have to wait and even if she said no, I would do anything in my power to make her say yes. _

_I had placed my hand back on her cheek, and I gave her a small smile that showed no expectations. "You don't have to answer right now. Take your time." Then it seemed as if she could breathe again and she let out a large sigh of relief before she blankly nodded her head. Her cute and innocent expression remains with me even today. I couldn't do anything but laugh at her reaction, which resulted in a pout. _

_She told me that I was cruel for dropping a huge bomb on her. I told her it was a bomb that had been hanging over her head for a long time. That only caused her to space out more, and caused me to laugh more. We went home the next day, making sure to leave before the tide came in. _

_That day is another one that holds such a special place in my heart as well as that place. That hill where I flew for the first time. That hill where I spoke for the first time. The hill where I felt I had fully become myself, such a magical place where it seems as though to make the blind see, as it did to me. _

_After we went home, I told her not to worry too much about my confession and that I'd wait for her to come around. I told her that no matter what, she would likely end up with me because I was planning to sweep her right off her feet. She laughed as a response, but I think that in some ways she knew that I was serious. _

_Things between us changed slightly. The flirty glares were replaced with thoughtful glances, the joking faces with sincere smiles, and the casual brushes of skin to heart-racing touches. _

_It was war. Me against her. _

_I was wracking my brain for the most romantic scenarios I could think of. Unfortunately, neither of us had the sufficient money nor time to go anywhere nice. So, I thought of the most simple and yet romantic gestures I could think of. _

_I had convinced her to go out on a few dates with me, even if she didn't love me. I knew that she loved me, and the worst case scenario was that she didn't love me in the way that I loved her. But at the time it didn't matter, I was only thinking about how I could change that. _

_On our first date, I took her to the roof of our apartment building. The landowner was a friend of a friend of mine from the school I was going to, and his friend owed me a favour so I asked him for the keys to the roof. _

_I took her up on the roof one night, and dinner was there all set up. It took me a few hours to set the whole thing up, and I remember the trouble I had bringing the tables and food all up by myself without her noticing. We had virtually no light because I was stupid and I let the candles out the day before when it rained. There was no plugs and so we couldn't bring up a lamp. But we had the bright night sky to illuminate the evening, and we had the moon to be the centerpiece of the light. It was dark, but the pale light only increased her beauty more. I loved the way that her eyes just seemed to glow in light, and that my eyes never ceased to stop finding hers. _

_Our food was…not that good. I wasn't exactly the best cook in the world, and I contemplated on ordering take out, but I read somewhere that homemade food is much more romantic. I tried, and gave up, so I ended up making grilled cheese sandwiches, which were her favourite. Unfortunately for me, I hate cheese, but I put up with it for her. After our luxurious dinner of cheese sandwiches, I planned for us to dance._

_We were supposed to have live music, but that cancelled on us. Then we planned to use an ipod speaker, but that kinda blew up in my face, literally. So in the end, we ended up using the radio on an old mp3. The mp3 didn't have speakers, so we had to use earphones, one bud for each of us. And we danced, danced to whatever random song was playing. We moved to the beats of some trance songs, we tried to dance to the rock songs, but jumping up and down wasn't exactly convenient when sharing earphones. _

_After our attempted dances, all we were was a ball of laughing bodies on the floor, trying out best not to spill our guts everywhere. She told me it was the most romantic failed date she'd ever been, and I was glad, I think? _

_I laid down a blanket for us to end the night looking up at the sky. We did. We were right beside each other, my hand lingering beside hers and she had her eyes closed. I took that time to just look at her and take her in. I love her. That was the only thought running through my entire head. I love her. _

_The sky was mostly starless, but for some reason, it didn't effect it's vast beauty. It became a reoccurring thing for us, to look at things vast and wide, things that made our problems seem incredibly small and miniscule in the world. _

_I remember kissing her forehead and watching as she dozed off to sleep. I cleaned everything up before I carried her back into her room and whispered for her to get ready for next time we go on a date in her ear. I still remember the smile the graced her gorgeous face the night she slept. I had wished her happy dreams, and I hoped that I was among them, because I knew she would be in mine. _

_For another date, I thought that I would do something more simple so that there were less chances of something going wrong. I did a simple movie night. But it seemed that fate had something against me. All the movies that I ended up renting weren't compatible with our video player. I was on the verge of giving up when she recommended that we just watch a movie playing on TV. _

_Rent was playing on one of the channels and we decided on that. We were sitting side by side in the beginning of the movie, but we surprisingly got enamored in the movie as we sang along ridiculously to the songs. By the time it was almost over, we were laying down on the coach with her tangled in my arms._

_I actually thought she had fallen asleep because the movie ended and neither of us had moved. I was scared to see if she was awake in fear of waking her up, but also because I didn't want to ruin the position that we were in. Instead, I held her tighter in my arms, pulling her closer to my body. I let my lips press against her neck softly as I whispered the sweet words in her ears. _

"_I love you." _

_I saw the hair on her neck stand slightly, and she turned around to meet my eyes. I was surprised, I didn't think that she was awake. I was even more surprised when I saw her face. At first she was the cutest shade of pink, but then she had this expression on her that showed me exactly how much thought she was putting into this. We were just looking into each other's eyes, too encompassed by the other to move. _

_I don't think I could tell you how long we stayed like that, just calmly looking into each other's eyes, soul. It must've been hours, but it felt like seconds. I could've gone forever looking into those eyes, but even then, forever is too short. _

_Too bad all good things must come to an end. I saw her eyelids starting to droop, and I asked her if she wanted to go back to her room now. To my surprise, she said no. Instead, she curled up closer and buried her face in my neck and told me that she wanted to sleep here. I wasn't complaining. I pulled up a blanket over us and held her tightly against my body. It was one the days when I felt complete. _

_On another date, I decided to take her to do something that we both enjoyed. What? Karaoke! We both loved to sing, but I won't lie, one of us was exceptionally better then the other. I won't say who though._

_There was a karaoke bar a little bit farther from where we lived and we drove down there. We ordered a room for a couple of hours, and sang our hearts out. We mostly sang together in one microphone, often fighting for the right to sing in the precious prize. We did some duets, including a whole new world. I sang Aladdin's part, and she sang Jasmine's. It just seemed appropriate to do so since I was the one taking her out on dates. _

_Then, after we sung virtually all the songs that we knew, we hit the random song button. We didn't know what the song was when it was playing, so we weren't exactly good at singing it at first, but as the song went on, I knew that we were both quickly falling in love with the song. _

"_So let go (let go)"_

_We were both singing along with the song, strangely knowing the lyrics as we fell into our own world once again, looking deeply in the other's eyes. _

"_Jump in_

_Oh well, whatcha waiting for_

_It's alright_

_Cause there's beauty in the breakdown"_

_At this point, we both had huge grins on our faces as we pulled each other in and danced around, all the while singing and never separating from the other's face. _

"_So let go (let go)_

_Just get in_

_Oh it's so amazing here_

_It's alright_

_Cause there's beauty in the breakdown"_

_When the song ended, we were so close to each other that if we had just leaned forward a couple of centimeters then we would have closed the gap between us. I held her cheek in my hand, and with my eyes I asked her for permission. All she did was smile at me and close the gap for me. _

_That song became our song, and that night became our night. _

_And so, we became the very thing that I'd spent the latter part of my life dreaming of, lovers. We slept in the same room, and instead just used her room to put all of our stuff and clothes in. Everything was so right, so complete, it fit and felt almost like a dream. But it wasn't a dream, it wasn't something that I could've have been scared that I would wake up from. It was real. Every moment, every word, kiss, touch, smile, look, laugh. It was real, all of it. _

_A year after we officially became girlfriends, I decided to tell my parents. On the holidays, I invited them over for Christmas, telling them that I had someone that I wanted them to meet. They came, and as I scared as I was for their expected reaction, I knew that it would be alright because she would be right there beside me. _

_Like I said, they reacted as I thought they would, and they disowned me. At least those were their words. I couldn't see anything past disappointed faces and yet strangely enough I didn't cry. I loved her and if they couldn't understand that then I told myself that I would bare no blame. They left before Christmas and went home in the Christmas Eve, saying that they wanted to spend time with their real family. It didn't matter to me. _

_As important as they were to me, she was just as much if not more so. I knew that my family would likely see that the decision they were making was the wrong one, as did she with her family. We both knew that our families had made a decision to judge us for something that we had no control over, but we also knew that one day they would see that they made a mistake, and when the time came, we would welcome them back with open arms, because no matter what, they were still family, even if they made a stupid decision. _

_I was waiting for my family to land home since I was going to give them a call. I was going to tell them that I loved them no matter what, and that they didn't have to worry about me because I had someone very special beside me. I was waiting. I never knew that I would have to wait forever. Their plane never made it back, and neither did they. _

_My family had died. _

_Reality struck me, and as much as I wanted to go back in time to maybe hold them one more time, or maybe tell them that I loved them, I couldn't. I tried to get over it quickly, tried to force myself to smile, but she knew what I was doing, and she knew that it wasn't healthy and that it would only make me more miserable. _

_A week after their death, a memorial was held for them and the rest of the crash victims. The bodies were unrecoverable, and I couldn't even bury them. I went back to my parents house and got the things that I thought were most important to each member of my family and buried that instead. I was devastated by their deaths, often getting strange mood swings. There were days when I was unusually happy, and days when I didn't eat, sleep and I caged myself in my old room, trying to fill my mind of old reminiscent memories. She was with me every step of the way, holding me tight when I needed it, and giving me space when I wanted it. _

_I think I would've died if it wasn't for her. _

_We were at their grave at one point, and I was just staring blankly at the gravestones, because I was thinking about how it wasn't even their bodies in there. But I knew that what was in there carried a piece of them. And I cried. I cried because I'd never see them again. I cried because my dreams of having them be in my future and me being in theirs completely disappeared. I cried because the people I loved so much, the people that had taught me and guided me and loved me, were gone forever. _

_I cried because I realized that I was all alone in the world. _

_There was no one left. No one to hold me when I really needed them, no one to turn back to, and no one to tell me that they would love me unconditionally. Then I just stopped crying. Because there, under the sun with me, was her, her who held me tight in her arms, while I cried about all the things that I had no control over. I spoke only once that day. A simple sentence and it was to her. I think that it weighed heavily on her mind, and it might still today._

"_You're all I have left." _

_She held me even tighter at that, closer to her, burying my face into her shoulder so maybe I might not see her tears. She was all I had left._

_Despite the tragic incident, time didn't stop. It never seems to when you want it to. School was back on and we continued on with our lives. I was living while trying to get past something I probably never could. But happier days came back. The days when I could smile naturally came back because of her. She never left me and did her best to make sure that I was fine. _

_Time passed, and we finished with school. It was time to enter the world of the working class. We were new to the business, so I won't lie when I say that we didn't exactly have an easy first term or so in the large business industry. We both had our ups and downs, but it wasn't long before we finally found ourselves comfortable positions in our jobs. _

_We moved out of our apartment, and settled for something better for the both of us. We moved into a nice little loft that had just the amount of space for the stuff we both needed for work. We were settling in for a life that we had both wanted. We were in comfortable positions in our jobs, and we spent most of the time we had on days off together. It seemed all too surreal, but it was real, and I was happy. _

_My work started becoming more and more popular, and so I became busier and busier. But that didn't put a damper on our relationship; we were the same as we always were. The times when we saw each other were filled with happy smiles, and light touches. We had started planning for the future even. Three kids, all adopted. A nice two story house with a basement for entertaining guests, and a bar. We were happy. _

_At least, I thought we were. _


	2. Chapter 2

_**Um, it's REALLY LONG! So, you're in for a read, but please tell me your input cause I originally made this when I was eight but of course I had to edit it a lot and add a lot, but the eight year old in me wants to know what you thought of it. Um, it's really long but please don't give up reading it, I think that it's really worth it! I think it's one of my best stories, and I made it when I was eight, so that's just sad.**_

Oh, and the song used in it is LET GO, by FROU FROU!

_Just another heartbreak_

_So, our life was proceeding and she had just gotten a huge promotion that required her to stay at work longer. She was so excited. At night, before we slept, she would always talk about the people at her work, and the new friends that she'd met. She would talk about him, and her, and he and she. She talked about a lot of people. As much as I'd like to say that I listened to all her stories, I wasn't exactly the most attentive person. I would usually just drone out her words, but listen to her beautiful voice. _

_It seemed to fool her, so I didn't have a problem with it. I still recall some of the nights that we spent together. _

_I was reading a book at one point, and she was talking as usual. I always found her voice to be such a soothing agent, it calmed me. Like I said, I didn't exactly listen to what she was listening, but I still technically listened. _

_There was the night that she was talking about her coworker who had such a great talent for her job. She was giving her praises, and was talking about how she was going to be taught by this person. I was sincerely happy for her at the time. I was glad that she was able to meet and be with people that she could feel at home with. _

_There was the night when she was talking about him, another coworker whom had made it be one of her closest friends. She asked me to meet him, but I wouldn't meet him until recently. He was apparently quite funny, and despite being a bit of a klutz at his job, he was the type to always be there for a friend. _

_The talks went on about her two new friends, and her other many more friends. I still didn't find anything wrong with it, she was happy, and so that meant that I was happy. She was my whole world, is my whole world. _

_More time went on, and some things were changing. It didn't seem as though we were changing, because I found that there was nothing wrong with us and we were still as happy as ever. But she started showing some weird signs. I didn't know it at the time, but there really was something wrong with us. _

_There were times when she's get home slightly flustered, and would just head straight to bed, times when she went straight to take a long shower. The funny thing is, I still didn't find anything wrong with it. How could I? We were so happy. The dates we had gone on were fun, our sex life was great as always, and we seemed so comfortable with each other. When you have a relationship like that, you wouldn't think that there's something wrong. _

_Sometimes, when she came home she would be in a bad mood, and she'd tell me that work had her stressed out, and that she had a mean boss or some other excuse. Other times, she would just be very quiet. I found those quiet times a little unnerving, and when I saw her from the corner of my eye, she would usually just be looking at me, or strangely looking around the room, studying it carefully. _

_I never said anything because I thought there was nothing to say. _

_There was this one day when she seemed slightly off, and somewhat sulky. She was talking to me, and this time I was actually listening. She actually asking me for advice._

"_I have a friend, and her mom is pressuring her to marry someone that she's not in love with, and who's not in love with her, and she doesn't know what to do because she's already in love with someone but she can't just go against her parents wishes. What do you think she should do?" _

_I remember laughing at her when she asked me that. She, of course, gave me a harsh look as though to state that she wasn't kidding, so I backed off a bit. But I was still slightly in comedic mode. I mean, how could she even ask me that question? She should be able to answer it herself, she knew all about how to "disrespect" the wishes of parents and do what it takes to be happy. I told her that her friend should do what makes her happy, even if it means losing the respect of her parents and family. But, at the same time, I told her to tell her friend to cling to them and never let them go, cause you don't want to lose them. _

_Once she heard my answer, she stopped and rubbed my back. _

"_Why is it so hard for two people who love each other to be together?" I heard the pain in her voice and I thought that the girl must be a close friend of hers. It's true. Why is it so hard? I think it's because love wasn't meant to be easy, and to have it you have to go through these ridiculous trials that are sent to put you off the path. _

_I told that it had to be, or else we wouldn't be able to see exactly how important it really is. She gave me a pained and weak smile before wrapping her arms around me and drifting off to sleep. _

_As much as I wanted to ignore it, her strange behavior continued for the months ahead. For the most part, she stopped talking at night, and just spent the time thinking. There were days when she came home extremely happy, and days were she just seemed downright depressed. Each time I asked her about it, she would just brush it off with another excuse about work being too hard or too difficult._

_I tried my best to pry whatever it was that was troubling her but she just wouldn't budge. _

_I guess I should've tried harder. _

_There were also days when she came home almost, floaty, like she was on cloud nine. But there were days when she was just downright angry, sometimes I would hear her yell into a pillow in the guest room. I was scared, confused. I didn't know why she was acting like that. I was even more scared that she refused to tell me, or kept trying to avoid the topic. _

_I took her out on dates, trying to cheer her up and doing my best to try and find out what was wrong with her. She started cheering up after I took her on the dates. Well, I'm not exactly sure if you could have called it cheering up, it was more like numbing down. It's not so much that she was happier, but more like she didn't really get angry anymore, she smiled but it wasn't the smiles that I knew, she looked me in the eyes, but they weren't the eyes I fell in love with._

_I was concerned for her and I tried to do everything I could to help, maybe I could've done more. _

_But, there was this time when she just became estranged, however, I would never forget the event that followed it. She came home really angry one day, which at this point wasn't really much of a surprise to me, but it was different. She was almost on the verge of tears when she came through the door. She was in slightly later then usual, so I decided to wait for her in the living room rather then the bedroom like I usually did. _

_The door had crashed open, and she was there, harshly biting back tears. I ran over to her, asking her what was wrong but she wouldn't answer, but instead she collapsed in my arms, crying. I didn't know why she was crying, but I hated seeing her like that. I hated seeing her in pain. I hated knowing that she was in pain and that I couldn't do anything about it. It made me feel pain, to an even stronger degree knowing I was useless._

_She cried in my shoulder all night, and I could do was hold her and tell her that everything was going to be alright. It wasn't long before she fell asleep in my arms. I held her tightly against my chest, and then I softly ran my fingers through her hair before running my hand over her head. And then I cried. _

_I was so useless. _

_I couldn't do anything. I wanted to be there for her, to make her feel better, to make her smile again, to make her see that I was right here. _

_I carried her up to the bed and I laid her down. I didn't get any sleep that night. I felt more comfortable just watching her sleep, watching her in a peaceful state rather then the disruptive one that she had been in at that time. _

_I will never leave you. _

_That was the thought going through my mind at the time. At the time. _

_The next day, we both went to work as usual, but she was different again. When she came home, she came just a little bit later then usual but not enough for me to worry. I was in the bedroom, reading a novel like usual, and she quickly changed and went into bed with me. She didn't talk or grumble or do anything. Instead, she patted her pillow, which was something that she did when she wanted me to go bed or when we just wanted to just snuggle up and talk to each other. _

_It had been a while since she'd done that, so I was quite surprised, but happy that she hadn't forgotten it. I put my book down and settled into bed, and I faced her. God, she was so beautiful. Her eyes were different from the day before. They weren't sad or confused or lonely, they were in thought. I didn't know what she was thinking, but I'm pretty sure that it had me in it with the way her gaze was. She was just so gorgeous. _

_We were just staring into each other's eyes, soul as we laid flat on our sides. I remember her hand reaching up and stroking my cheek and a smile just blew up on my face. It was quickly followed by one on hers. _

_It felt good, like my crashing world was whole again. I had let out the biggest sigh of relief then. We leaned our foreheads in on the other, and she told me that she was sorry. Just two simple words, but it made everything better, and for some reason it made everything made sense again. _

_For the first time in what felt like a really long time, we fell asleep cuddled happily in the other's arms. At the time, I didn't care about anything else. I thought that if I had this then it wouldn't have mattered where I was as long as she was with me. I thought that it didn't even matter if I died, as long as she would be there holding my hand and seeing my off. _

_That's all I wanted. _

_Her. _

_The day after that, she came home really late, but when she did, she came home all happy and excited. She told me that I wasn't going to work the day after and that we were going to be taking a trip down somewhere familiar. I felt my heart rise into the air at seeing her so happy and excited. It'd been a while since I'd seen this side of her, and I was glad that it wasn't lost. _

_She started packing some stuff, but she told me that I couldn't look. I looked anyway and saw her pack some towels, some food, a few other things, and a camera. I was okay for the first few items, but a camera I was not. I wasn't the biggest fan of pictures, or at least being in the pictures. I hated having a picture of me taken. The only time I was in a picture was when we were both in it, other then that I had absolutely no solo pictures. _

_Our entire house was littered with photos of the both of us, and there were quite a few with only her in it, but not one of only me. She'd always try to take a single photo of me, but I always found a way to escape the view of the lenses until she finally gave up the change. _

_I could only smile and prepare myself for her onslaught of attacks. I was excited. For the most part, I was the one that took her out on dates, so I was wondering what she had in store for me. _

_The next day, we headed off to wherever it was she was taking us to. I could only blink in surprise when I saw the familiar sight before me. We took the path quickly so that we could be there before the tide came in. The familiar vast sight ahead of me made my heart soar. The ocean in all its glory, it was something that no beach could ever comprehend. _

_I reached the hill first before I turned back to her to engulf her in my arms. I loved this place. It truly is a memory to behold. I was quite happy that she's actually still remembered it after so long, and that it hadn't changed much over the past couple of years. _

_I was happy. _

_We took in the sight before us and she wrapped her arms around my waist from behind me, and laid her head on my shoulder. We stayed like that for a few minutes before she turned me around. _

_The next thing will stay engraved in my mind for all eternity. _

_She got on her knees, and she took out a blue velvet box from her pocket. She opened the box, a beautiful smile gracing her face, and her eyes turning into the most gorgeous colour. _

"_Will you marry me?"_

_I thought that my heart had stopped. My mouth had just opened but whatever words I was supposed to say died in my throat. Everything was gonna be alright. Everything was gonna come true. Three kids, all adopted. A two story house with a basement and bar. Us, forever. _

_She chuckled at my reaction, and sweet words left her mouth in a tune. _

"_So let go (let go)" _

_She got up from her knees, her eyes never leaving mine. _

"_Jump in." _

_Her hand had found it's way on my cheek and was stroking it softly. _

"_Oh well, whatcha waiting for?"_

_As the sweet words left the words, her eyes twinkled brightly in the light. _

"_Oh, it's so amazing here."_

_A beautiful smile grew on her face._

"_It's alright, cause there's beauty in the breakdown."_

_I had known all about the tears that were gracing my face, but I didn't mind them, because at this point, my arms were already wrapped tightly around her frame, never wanting to let go, never wanting the moment to end. _

"_Yes." I met her eyes again before we allowed the gap between us to close. _

_She opened the velvet box, revealing a beautiful diamond ring. It wasn't small, and it wasn't big. But I didn't care, because it was mine. _

_She slid the ring on my finger and I could only think about how it fit so perfectly. I could only think about how right it felt, how complete and real everything was. It all just felt so amazing. _

"_I will never take it off as long I live." I told her, and I wholeheartedly meant it, in so many ways. I really did. It's a statement that I will live and die by. _

_We spent the rest of the evening there, we had laid down a nice large blanket for both of us. I had guessed wrong when I thought that she wanted to take a picture of me, cause she was taking pictures of the ocean. _

_I was laying down on the blanket, facing her, while she was sitting down with the camera pointed to the ocean. It was a nice and calm peaceful evening. I loved to watch her, and so that's what I did. _

_I just watched as she adjusted her camera every so often, and took random pictures of the sea. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of her doing it. This was the start of the rest of my life, and I felt good. _

_I guess she must've noticed me staring at her because she looked down at me._

"_What?" She smiled out, innocently. _

"_I love you." _

_The small and innocent smile disappeared and it was replaced with a more thoughtful look. She was just looking at me, studying me like she had used to in the room. It was like she was looking into something else more, like something more distant, maybe into a different me, or a different time. But the look that graced her face was just so…beautiful._

_She brought up her camera to her face and effortlessly pointed it to me. Normally I would run away or look away, anything to get my face away. But I wasn't looking at the camera, I was still looking at her, seeing that searching face look into my own. A small smile had graced my face, and I didn't know where it came from. I hardly even knew that there was a photograph being taken of me, but I didn't care. I was looking at her, not the camera, her. _

_We had packed up for the day and we went home, somewhat wet because we went late and the tide rose a bit, but nothing serious. By the time we got home it was late at night and all we cared about was getting some sleep. But I didn't sleep again, I just watched her sleep and I thought and I thought and I was imagining our future life, and what was ahead. It was beautiful. _

_The months that followed it seemed like a dream. We had planned our wedding. We were going to be married in a chapel though not by a priest, since our church did not technically condone it. But the priest was going to allow us to be married in the chapel, but it had to be by a government official. _

_It didn't matter to us, the fact that we were going to do it in a chapel was already more then we expected, and we were happy with our plans. We had planned to go to L.A for our honeymoon, and when we came back we were going to get a house together. It was going to have two stories with a basement, and a bar. And, we were talking about adoption agencies that wouldn't discriminate against gay marriages. We had settled that we would try and adopt a girl first, then maybe a boy two years after the girl, and finally another boy, one year later after that._

_We were gonna be a family. _

_We had everything planned out. It was all perfect. Like a fairytale, a dream. _

_People say that fairytales don't exist, but at that time I could've proved them wrong. I could've told them my life story, and then they would have to believe in fairytales. How could they not? _

_We're close to date now. _

_A few weeks ago, she had told me that her friend who was getting married was inviting mean and her for a double date with her fiancé. I hadn't met her friends yet, and I thought that it was a good thing to do since they seemed so important to her. Her friends had planned their marriage to take place a week after we were gonna have dinner. _

_So, we went. She said that it was nothing too formal, mainly a casual dinner out. We went out to this bistro type place, where we had a table outside. It was nice, romantic. There were candles, and from the table we had, all you could see were the city lights in a beautiful fashion. _

_Her friends had finally arrived a little while later, and I got to meet two very nice people. He was quite charming, and he really was funny. She was a very polite and bashful person, quiet, but beautiful nonetheless. They talked about their wedding which was taking place the following week, and I talked about the plans that she and I had for the future. _

_She was eerily quiet throughout the whole thing though, not at all like I had originally thought her to be. At the time, I thought she would be bouncing off the walls in excitement at me finally meeting her friends. I was worried for a second, but she kept assuring me she was fine, so I had let it slide. _

_The couple really was nice, thought something had seemed off. Just from looking at them, I could tell that they weren't in love. Not like me, I thought. They seemed to be very good to each other, but it just seemed off. Then, I somewhat recalled a story that she had told me about her friend being pressured by her mom to marry someone she didn't love, and who didn't love her back. _

_I had guessed that it was them, and all I could think was how sorry I was for them. Though, with the way they were, it seemed as though they would still make it through, just because of their closeness. _

_I was still weirded out by her rather restrained behavior, but she only kept insisting that she was fine, and so I couldn't do anything about it. _

_The night ended, and it was fun. It really was a nice dinner, I had gotten to know her friends more. We had stopped by her friend's house for a while, just for some drinks before we finally headed home. _

_The days that followed it were also strange though. She was quiet throughout the entire week. She said that she had taken the week off, and so she didn't go to work, but when I did come home, all I could see her doing was standing by the window and silently watching the world pass by. _

_I couldn't decipher her actions. _

_Her friend had called, the bride, she had invited both of us to the wedding, and even asked if she could be one of her wedding brides. When I told her about the message, she only said that she didn't want to go, and that it was a wedding more for family then anything else. I didn't understand why she was acting like that. This was her friend with whom she had gotten along with so well, so why was she declining such an invitation. _

_I called back her friend and told her we couldn't make it. She was disappointed, but said she understood and that it was fine. _

_A couple of days passed, and she was still in her rotten mood. We were in bed that night, when I decided to confront her about it. I asked her flat out if there was something that she wanted to tell me, and she told me that there wasn't. I asked her if there was something wrong, and she told me it was nothing that I had to be concerned about. When I told her to tell me anyway, she told me she was just feeling some pressure from going back to work. _

_I interrogated her for about half an hour, but she didn't budge on giving me information that I should've been concerned about. She told me that everything was fine, and that she was just tired from everything. I didn't entirely believe her, but what else could I do? _

_She kissed me softly on the forehead and repeatedly told me to stop worrying. She told me that it was nothing I had to concern myself over. Her kisses had moved down, to the valley in my chest, and I already knew what I was going to spend my night doing. _

_It was fun, passionate, hot, amazing. It always was. _

_We became a mess of limbs and flesh. By the end of it, we were completely exhausted, and wasn't long before we both fell asleep in the other's arms. I recall feeling her heart beat next to mine. I remember when our naked flesh lay against each other, soft skin on soft skin. It was just so sensual, the way that our bodies just seemed to fit perfectly in each other's, the way that we felt like one. _

_I woke up the next day in her arms. She was already awake but she was just blankly staring at the ceiling, deep in thought. _

"_Hey." I told her, smiling at the gorgeous girl holding me. _

_She didn't say anything, but just looked at me and gave me a small weak smile. There was something in her eyes. I guess I should've recognized it at the time, but I thought to myself that I was just paranoid. But there was. There was something strange, and different about them, distant._

_We untangled ourselves from each other, and she got up and got dresses. I thought that was weird, since she hated getting up early, and it was considerably early. She left the room, but I stayed in bed, still too tired from the night before to move. A little while later, she came in with a tray of food for the both of us. I could only smile in return for the gesture. _

_We ate breakfast in a respective silence, but as soon as we did, she quickly got up to take away the meal. It was different to see her moving so much. Like I said, she mostly liked to just stay in bed, unless she had to get up. But she didn't._

_Yet she did. _

_The entire morning, she was just moving about, sometimes pacing back and forth, other times she was cleaning her things, which was something I had definitely not seen before. All the while, I stayed in bed and relaxed, thinking about why she was doing these things. _

_She finally settled back in bed with me, but got up only a short while later. _

_I don't know, but when she was getting up, I felt something go through me. It was like a really cold chill, and it scared me. I grabbed her hand on reflex, and I quickly tried to find her eyes, feeling they could help. I didn't like it. I didn't want her to get up and go. There was just something telling me that it wasn't right, that something was wrong. _

_She looked back to me, and gave me a warm smile. She told me that she was restless, and that she was just going to go jogging in the area for a bit. I watched her as she got dressed into her running shoes and everything. Each passing second, I felt a strain on my heart. I hated it. I didn't know it, but it was painful, scary. _

_I was watching her and she was walking out the door, and she turned back and she smiled at me, and she told me _

"_I love you." _

_She was disappearing behind the door, and that weird feeling was just getting stronger and stronger, and I didn't know what it was. I felt like my heart was going to burst, and I knew that there was just something wrong. I felt like I knew that if I let her be, I would never see her again. _

_I was shaking, shaking so hard. And I was crying. I didn't even know why, but it was so scary. I got up and I got dressed quickly. I went out the door and I followed her. I went jogging with her sometimes, so I knew the route she was following. She was there, just jogging quickly. It was hardly even jogging anymore, and was borderline running. _

_I did my best to follow her, twisting through the turns, but making sure that she didn't see me. My heart was pounding in my chest so hard, and I was still shaking. I had to keep following her, and I had to keep watching her, or else she would disappear. I had to. _

_Street after street, park after park. Soon we came to a point that I didn't even recognize anymore. We had been running for about an hour, yet I still had the feeling that I couldn't take me eyes off her. I couldn't even if I tried._

_We were now coming by another area, but this felt familiar. We had passed the bistro that we had gone to the week before, and were in the area that her friend had lived. She was running faster now, harder, quicker, run, run. _

_I was on the verge of collapsing, but she stopped and she slowed down, and she looked at the building directly ahead of her. She looked so scared, but so was I. I was so scared. I think I knew. I think I did. I think I knew all along, but I tried my best to ignore it. _

_She came to a complete halt in front of the building, the overwhelming church. She was catching her breath, thinking, deciding. I was feeling my heart pound hard in my chest, not because of the run, something else. _

_She won't right? She won't? I told myself that, but I already knew the answer. _

_She did. _

_The dark wooden doors opened as she crashed in, a large booming voice from inside seeped out. _

"_If anyone here has any reasons as to why these two should not be joined in Holy Matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace"_

_Step. Step. _

_Those were her steps, as she ran up the column. With each step, I felt as though my heartbeat would match it. With each step I felt as though I was being crushed, as I let the knowing tears fall down my face. With each step, I felt as though she was stepping on my heart, instead of the decorated stone underneath her feet. _

"_Stop!" _

_She was at the alter, and I was standing by the door walking in slowly. I watched. I watched it all happen before my very eyes. I watched her crush me._

"_These two don't love each other." She called out to the priest and all the people in the audience. I was in the column, just slowly walking up to the alter. No one noticed my presence, not ever her._

"_She doesn't love him, and he doesn't love her." Everyone watched with wide eyed aspiration. The priest was shocked and he just stood there, waiting._

"_And how do you know that?!" That was a lady from the bridesmaid side who seemed older, I'm guessing a mom. _

"_Because." That was the word that left her mouth, nothing else. But she didn't need it, because she looked into the brides eyes, and the bride into hers, and everyone knew. Everyone knew what was in their eyes was exactly what she said was missing in the marriage. I knew. And I just watched._

_I had known those eyes. I knew those eyes that she was showing. They were the ones that made me feel like I had two worlds, one with her, and one with everything else. They were the ones that made everything feel right, and complete. They were the ones that made me feel like I was drowning in the greatest fashions of ecstasy. _

_I knew those eyes, because they were the ones that used to look into my own. _

_There was murmuring in the crowd. _

_She and the bride just stopped, and I saw it. I saw them and I hated it. I hated it so much, because… because they were perfect. They were looking into each others eyes, and it seemed as though they were in their own world, and the smiles on their faces told everyone everything they needed to know. _

_They were in love._

_And before anyone could move, they had their arms wrapped around each other. The groom just smiled. Everyone watched. They watched as these two people, who seemed so perfect just fall in love before their very eyes. It was like watching a movie, or a fairytale happen before your very eyes. I watched it, feeling myself crumble with every second. _

_And, before anyone could move, she and the bride had their arms around each other. It looked so real. It really did look like a fairytale. And they pulled apart, and they both closed the gap between them. I wanted to look away. I wanted to yell for them to stop. I wanted to claw my own eyes out. I wanted to tear them away from each other. _

_I couldn't._

_It felt like something I couldn't touch. It felt like something that was too far beyond my reach. It felt like they something shining and something that no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn't be able to touch it or to hold it. It felt like something that was out of my world, like she left my world. _

_He, the groom, started to clap for the beautiful couple in front of him, and the audience, entranced by the gorgeous event in front of them did as well. _

_Why are they clapping? I thought. Why are they clapping for them? _

_It really was a fairytale. And they were the two princesses. _

_The couple finally pulled away from each other, still smiling in the other's arms, and then they turned back and they started to run out. They started to run towards me. _

_I couldn't move. _

_Then, our eyes met. Whatever smile was on her face, disappeared as her pace slowed. She must've seen it. There was no way she couldn't. She must've seen me breaking in front of her. The audience, were giving the couple a standing ovation, and they watched as the couple ran down the long column. My eyes were on hers, and…nothing. _

_I expected her to drop the hand she was holding. I expected her to tell me it was just a mistake. I expected her to tell me it was a dream or something. But nothing. Her once happy face crumbled, and she looked at me with the most painful eyes of pity. It was like she had just remembered me now. _

_They were passing by me, and it was then that the crowd noticed me, but I'm guessing they didn't care. Our eyes were still locked, and her pace was slowing down. The bride saw me, and she just quickly looked away. But in we were still looking at each other. _

_The entire thing felt like it was going frame by frame. Picture by picture. I wanted time to stop. I wanted it to completely stop. She was apologizing with her eyes. She was telling me she was sorry, that this was how things were gonna be. But I think that a part of her wanted to just stop, and hold me. Maybe that was just wishful thinking. _

_She didn't stop. _

_She lagged, and maybe, just maybe she would've stopped. But the apparent love of her life held her hand tightly and pulled on her to keep going. And then it broke. All of it._

_She looked away from me in guilt, shame, and she continued running, running until she was out, until she was free. _

_The crowd had clapped for her, for them. They were still clapping, but why? Why were they clapping? That's not fair. It's not. _

_I looked back to the alter, and there stood the groom in all his glory._

"_Where are they going?" I asked him wastefully. I wasn't sure at first if he could hear me over the thundering applause, but I'm guessing he did, because he looked at me with the same look of pity that the bride did before she looked away. _

"_Where are they going?" I asked again. It was pointless, but for some reason I didn't stop. He wouldn't meet me in the eye. He wouldn't look at me in the eye and say something, he just looked away in guilt. _

"_Where are they going?!" I said it louder this time, as if I thought it would make a difference._

"_I'm sorry." Those were his words. I'm sorry._

_I don't understand. How do you apologize for completely destroying someone's life? _

"_No." I still couldn't move. _

"_No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no," I was shaking my head. "No!" The church grew quiet._

"_No." I started to walk on tired and weary legs. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, but I didn't care. I walked, and I tripped. My legs scraped against the stone floor, because I was wearing shorts, but I didn't care. It was painful, but it didn't compare to the pain in my chest. I tried to stand up but I collapsed on the floor again. _

_The continuous tears that were rolling down my cheek hadn't stopped. Move! Move! _

_I kept telling myself that I had to move. _

_I got up, and I limped my way out on the door. _

"_No, no, no." I sobbed out. _

"_Noo!" I stopped for a second, but then quickly resumed. " NO!" I started to try running and tripped again, before I tried running a second time. _

_I was almost outside, almost there when I felt large arms holding me back. _

"_Noo!" I fought against him, kicking, and punching._

And I screamed out at the top of my scratchy and tired lungs.

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" _

_I reached my hand out, trying to reach the door, but the man kept me firm at his side._

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" My voice was breaking in my throat. _

_The large noise had echoed in the stone church and I felt everyone's eyes on me. _

_I looked around and they were all giving me these looks. They were looking at me like I was an animal, like they disgusted of me. I could hear them whispering about me, talking about who I was, and why I was doing that, talking about how I ruined something perfect, about how I was a disturbance. _

"_No" I still tried to weakly fight him._

"_Just stop. They love each other, and we can't stand in the way of that." I hated him! I hated him for that! They don't! They don't love each other! _

_I looked at him, I met his pitying eyes. "We're gonna get married in two months." I showed him the ring on my finger which I hadn't taken off since I had put it on. "We're gonna adopt a girl and buy a house with two stories, a basement, and a bar." I told him that, like it was supposed to explain everything, but he only looked away. _

"_No."_

_At that point, my consciousness was already fading, and my body was weak and I couldn't move. And then everything went dark. _

_When I woke up, I was in a cab that was supposed to take me home. The cab had already been paid for, and it stopped by my house. _

_I stood in front of the door in my house, and I couldn't go in. I didn't want to go in. I felt like I couldn't. A part of me hoped that she'd be there, inside waiting for me. A part of me hoped that it was all a nightmare caused by not enough sleep or something. I didn't want to take the chance it wasn't, so I just stood in front of the door, waiting. I didn't even know what I was waiting for, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore. _

_It was dark before I finally went in. It was empty. _

_It was exactly the same as I had left it. Pictures graced the wall, instruments and film equipment left in the open, I went into the bedroom, and it was the same before, ruffled with my clothes on the floor. _

_I had left the room, not being able to bear the memories of events only hours ago. She was in my arms. I was holding her, only hours before, and it just happened so quickly, so fast._

_I closed the door, leaving the door behind me. I went into the living room, and I curled up into a ball on the couch. That night, I couldn't think about anything. My mind was just clear and it wouldn't process anything. But something came to me, she'll be back. She'll be back. She's just gone right now, but she'll be back. It's not like she really left, she's just not here. _

_I pushed the ideal into my head, and morning came when sleep did not. My tired and sleepless eyes had blinked the night away. The entire day, I sat curled up in the chair, not moving, not doing anything but waiting, waiting for her to come back. I truly believed that it wasn't happening, that she really wasn't gone. _

_I was in denial. _

_She's coming home, she's just not here right now. I told myself that again and again. She hasn't gone anywhere, she's just made a mistake, she'll be back. _

_The entire day, I watched as life passed me by and left me behind. _

_That night, she still hadn't come home and I felt myself fading away. And I decided to take action. That day, I left the house wearing the same clothes I had the day I left after her. I was still wearing running shorts and a sweater over my shirt. My knees were caked with flakes of dry blood and my face was still stained with tears. _

_I got up from my position and headed over to a familiar house. I didn't drive there cause I didn't really trust myself to drive. I rang the doorbell on the door that I had been at only a week ago or so. There was no answer, but I persisted and continued knocking on the door and ringing the doorbell. _

_It took a while, but the door finally opened revealing him in shorts. He looked surprised to see me, but gave me a sympathetic look. I didn't want it, I didn't want sympathy. I didn't need it. After all, she hadn't gone anywhere; she just wasn't there at the moment. _

"_When is she coming home?" I asked him, but he just looked away._

"_Look, I'm not sure that's gonna be anytime soon." He told me weakly, but I didn't believe him. How could I? She wasn't gone. _

"_Of course she is, we still have to plan the reception for the wedding." I told him like it should've made sense, and it did, at the time. _

"_I…I'm sorry." _

_I didn't understand, why was he apologizing? There was nothing to be sorry for, she was coming back after all._

"_When is she coming back, we still need to prepare the guest list too, and we'll have to call her parents to see if they want to come." I was getting mad, why wasn't he telling me?_

"_Look, maybe you should just go." He told me, but I wasn't done, I wasn't satisfied. I didn't get a chance to get another word in though because he had shut the door in my face. _

_I went home unsatisfied, and quite frankly a little angry. _

_That was the next thing. I became angry. Over the course of the night, something started stirring up inside of me and his words were echoing in my head. Why wasn't she coming home?! That's not fair! Why isn't she here?! I hate this! I want her here with me!_

_When morning came, my teeth were gritted in anger. I looked around me and I saw the pictures of her and me and I thought about how fake they were. I saw the pictures of her and I thought about how I hated it! How, she was happy out there with her, and not me. I hated it. _

_I stood up and I paced, trying to get of the overwhelming emotion in me. It didn't work, so I proceeded to doing something else. I tried punching the wall a few times until my knuckles turned bloody. I felt her eyes on me though, I felt the eyes of those taunting pictures on me. I hated it! I hated how they were staring at me, mocking my misery while they were in a sliver of time, happy and ecstatic. _

_I screamed. I yelled. I cried. I broke. _

_Again and again. _

_I was sprawled on the floor, thinking about how I could taste blood in my throat. I was mad, because I was useless. I was angry, because I was hopeless. I was in pain, because I thought it might make it go away. _

_Two days. The cycle repeated for two days. I there was nothing else I thought. Two days of anger, of hate, and pain. _

_But the hate turned into desperation. I needed her back, at any cost. I was willing to give anything for her. I wanted her back, and I would do anything. But I didn't know where she was, but I knew someone who might've. _

_I went back to the house I had gone to before. I was still in the same clothes as I had been almost a week ago. I hadn't eaten or done anything since then. What was the point? She wasn't there and I had to get her back first. I was desperate. _

_I went knocking on his door, knowing it'd take a while for him to answer, but I was frantic. It took about half an hour before he finally opened the door. _

"_Please! I need her back!" I begged him. "I just- I can't live without her!" I pleaded to him at the door. My yelling was attracting people but I had long ago stopped caring about other people. _

"_Please!" _

_He looked at me like I was a rabid animal that would hurt him and bite him. He looked at me in the same way that the people in the church had. I hated the look, but I just needed her._

"_Please, I'll do anything to get her back!" I was on my knees and I was clutching unto his pant leg, sobbing. _

"_I'm sorry, but I can't." I knew that he knew where they were. I knew he did. His voice told me that he did, but it hurt knowing that. He knew, but I didn't. It wasn't fair. I just wanted her back._

"_Please, I'll give you anything, just give her back to me." I was breaking down on his doorstep, and I was pretty sure that he wasn't going to let me in. _

_I looked up at him and I could see him being overwhelmed. "Please, she's all I have left. There's nothing else. She's-she's the reason I'm still alive." I begged him one last time before he shook me off his leg and closed the door. _

_I broke down again on his doorstep. I wanted her back but I couldn't have her. I would've done anything to get her back, anything. I just wanted to be with her. I just wanted to be in her arms. I just wanted to hold her again, and have her hold me and tell me that she loved me. _

_I went home dejected, depressed. _

_I gave up. I went to our bedroom and I laid down in our sheets. I pulled the sheets close to me, but no matter how close it was, it never took away the cold. I was alone now. There was nothing else. So what's the point? _

_I cried. That's all I did. I sobbed at times, then sometimes they slowed to quiet tears. No matter. Nothing did. I thought and I thought but it was useless, because I always ended up to the same conclusion. And I cried some more. _

_They say that there's a limit to how much tears you can shed, that at one point you can just stop crying. There is no such point. You can go your whole life crying, and it could still go on. I cried for three days. What else could I do? I had exhausted all my options, and there was nothing left for me to do. _

_Those three days I spent crying, I also spent thinking. And I finally came to a conclusion, I knew what was left. Nothing. _

_This was my conclusion. I wanted for some record of me to live down even if no one would read it, even if she'd never see it. I just felt like I needed to recall every important moment in my life, and I had. These were it. I called my work and I quit, and I deleted all the messages on the answering machine, they didn't concern me. _

_I guess I should've written it more like what it is, which is a letter, but it's not as though anyone's going to read it, or even care about it so what's the point? Why would anyone care about the ugly old witch? _

_Before, I said that fairytales existed. I wasn't lying. Fairytales do exist. Happy endings and forever after's are real. Princes, princesses, and fairy godmothers, and dwarves and everything, they're all real. And chances are, you might be in one. You might play a part in a fairy tale. It's true, everything they tell you is true. They exist. _

_There's just one thing that they failed to mention. There's just one thing that they didn't say. Sometimes, you don't play the part of the prince or the knight, or the princess. Sometimes you're made to play the ugly old witch, or the wicked stepmother. They don't tell you that not everyone is a prince or princess in the fairytales. They don't tell you that you're not the one that the fairytale is about. _

_I'm the ugly old witch, or the wicked stepmother. I'm the atrocious octopus girl, or fire breathing dragon. The way that they looked at me that day, it was like I was the one ruining the happy ending. I was the one getting in the way of their forever after. They looked at like I wanted to hurt them, like I wanted to be evil. No one wants to be evil. They just get stuck with evil parts. _

_So really, what's the point of even writing this? No one wants to read the story about the ugly old witch. No one wants to know about the wicked step mother, as long as the beautiful couple is happy, and has their forever after. _

_They have it. And now I have to play my part in the story. _

_I have to disappear. _

_It's fine. I've already accepted it. I already decided a long time ago that I couldn't live without her. I just thought that this day would maybe come later in life. But it's fine. It doesn't really matter. I mean, I'm just another ugly old witch that dies in the movie. After all, all I'll be is another drop in an ocean of tears._

_After all, this just another heartbreak. _

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _

**A ring once treasured is left on a table, above a picture rare enough indeed. The house, empty. Loneliness echoes within the halls. Farther away, there is a women, clothed in a white dress. She stands on a hill, not too high, but high enough. Soft feet padding on the rough and harsh rock as they reach the peak. Bellow her, a fate with no future. The sun is shining this time, contrary to her first visit. **

**She takes out a device and presses in her intentions. There is no answer but she never expected one. A beep is heard, and she whispers sweet words in a high tune, her final message. She drops the device on the floor, letting it go on.**

**She stares at her fate, and smiles, knowing this was the only thing left for her to do. **

**A short time passes, and we move on to our previous location. Another women stands outside the door, head leaned in against it. She contemplates, unknowing if she has any right to go into the place she once called home. She takes in a deep breath and prepares herself. Her hand on the doorknob, she feels her heart beating in her chest, and she slides the key in and opens the door. **

**Nothing. **

**Nothing had changed from her last sighting of the area. The place is clean, as it had been. She cautiously walks the halls, before softly calling out a familiar name. No response. As she walks, she sees unfamiliar marks on the wall pertaining blood. The unfamiliarity scares her. **

**She continues to walk, watching each room turn out the same as it had been left. There is no change much other then the strange marks on the wall, so breathes out a sigh of relief. But there's still nothing. **

**The nothing scares her. She finds her heart beating harder, not seeing the sight had been wishing to see, and yet at the same time, dreading to face. Step and another step, but still nothing. **

**By this time, her heart grows scared and anxious. **

**Her steps grow faster, until she surveillances the last room, her room, to find it empty, once again. The sight makes her panic. She quickly runs into each room again, frantically calling out a name to see if she had missed her, nothing. **

**She heads back into the living room in order to call to see if someone had seen her. She goes, but quickly halts. Her eyes find a glimmer in the room, and a picture of the girl she seeks, a rare one at that. She walks towards the glimmer, finding the object that had caused the glare on top of the solo picture of her former lover. **

**She picks up the object, before her eyes open wide at words that echo in her mind.**

"_**I'll will never take it off, as long as I live.**_**"**

**She quivers, and stares at the picture. The sight of it reminds her of something else, when there was nothing left of family, and her lover was alone.**

"_**You're all I have left.**_**"**

**Words fail to reach outside of her mouth. She can't speak and she collapses on her knees, shaking. She sees the picture again, watching as beautiful eyes stared not at the camera, but at her. The girl in the picture remaining nothing short of a vision with a heavenly smile, a vision now gone. **

**She breaks down, the two lines echoing in her head, and they start to fit the pattern of the cold room. She notices it. The room is cold. It's probably at a temperature no lower then normal, but it's cold and it's lonely, and she thinks about how that was what she went through. That she was alone. **

**Tears run down her face, and she tries to call out the girl's name but in vain. So she screams to make up for it. She screams, not words, but indescribably sounds, having realized the extent of her action. She screams, in her haste, from the corner of her eye, she notices the blinking light. **

**A glimmer of hope washes over her, and so she crawls on her knees to the blinking light, pressing the hard button, that would make all the difference in the world. She listens as the record plays back. **

**At first there is no sound, but she listens closer, and hears the harsh crashing of waves. **

"**So let go ( let go)**

**Jump in**

**Whatcha waiting for**

**Cause it's so amazing here**

**It's alright, cause there's beauty in the breakdown."**

**Soft whispers, a beautiful tune, and a familiar voice. **

**The sound of a large crash against waves and water. The girl who flinches at the sound, and falls in to despair after hearing it. **

**She breaks down again, knowing what had happened, knowing what her actions had caused, knowing the pain she had inflicted, knowing that her former lover and best friend was now gone. **

**So let go (let go)**

**Jump in**

**Whatcha waiting for**

**Cause it's so amazing here**

**It's alright, cause there's beauty in the breakdown**

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_I mean, I'm just another ugly old witch that dies in the movie. All I'll be is another drop in an ocean of tears._

_After all, this just another heartbreak._

_**Fini. Owari. Tapos Na. Das Ende. **__**Oh Fim. El Final. The End**_

**_------_**

**_Okay, so how was that? In my opinoun that was one of my best stories. Tell me what you liked about it, and what you didn't. The eight year old in me is very interested in knowing. _**


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